#49daystoFinalExam

10th March 2016


Kau claim dengan Tuhan,

Tapi aku dah selalu je study,
Tapi aku jarang gila ponteng tutorial,
Tapi aku rajin je study group,
Tapi aku dah buat banyak benda,
Tapi kenapa aku?

Kenapa aku?

Kenapa tak orang lain.
Kenapa tak orang lain yang study pun entah bila.
Kenapa tak orang lain yang tak kisah pun pasal exam.
Kenapa tak orang yang selalu ponteng kelas.

Kenapa eh? Kenapa?


Kau claim kenapa dalam banyak banyak orang Dia pilih kau.

Tapi kau lupa,
Pernah tak sekali dalam hidup kau pertikaikan nikmat yang kau dapat?
Makan minum tak pernah kurang.
Sempurna anggota badan,
Mak, ayah, rumah, duit.

Pernah ke kau claim kenapa dalam banyak banyak manusia Tuhan nak bagi kau.
Layak ke nak claim segala "effort" yang kau bagi dengan nikmat yang seribu lagi banyak Tuhan dah beri.

Malu nya.
Ya Rabb, maafkan diri yang hina, terlalu sombong dan selalu alpa

Lupa akan realiti nya rezeki Allah bukan lah pada "effort" fizikal semata-mata. 

Mungkin terlalu lama hilang pergantungan pada Nya

Sebab tu Allah rindu.

Wahai diri

Pujuk lah hati.

Its okay. Its alright.
Allah tahu.

Intan Nur Hadilah, hang in there.
Allah tahu struggles kau.

Dia kan tengok usaha?

:)

SOCRATES

intan nur hadilah

" So, from a scale of 1-10, from 1 being okay to 10 being really bad, how would you rate your pain?"

A question that (most of) medical students would ask their patients in history taking.
But personally it's not one of my favourite question to ask.
Most of the time, when I find it less relevant I'll just skip it.

Pain is subjective.
Everyone has a different pain threshold.
Some might tolerate pain better than other people.
Be it physical or emotional.

Emotional pain.

People might say heart broken is the worst heartache in the world.
Well as for me, there will always be a worse scale of emotional pain than being heart broken.
The pain of losing your family members.
The kind of pain that time doesn't heals.
Time made you stronger talking about it.
But deep inside..............

Only He knows how it felt :)

This remind me of a friend who just lost his father two years.
I was there for the tahlil. She came to me and said,

" Kita tak tahu lah macam mana. Every time teringat mesti nangis. Intan, will the pain ever stop?"
I can still remember her sad looking eyes. Full of hopes. Waiting for me to answer "Yes, soon."
But I cant answer that. Because its one ugly truth that only those who went through it will understand. Can I just hug you instead?

So if I have to answer a pain scale question, from 1-10. My answer would be,

Infinity.

Bukan mengadu domba,

Cuma berkongsi rasa.

From You through her.

intan nur hadilah

It's the thought that counts.

I have always love mini muffin from Aldi.

But I wont buy it because I had this strict principle on 'junk' food. If you dont buy it, you wont eat it. Exception on the time of the month, if you get what I meant.

So yesterday, I had this sudden craving.

It crossed my mind, " Okay kalau pergi Aldi nak beli lah muffin tu."

Today is Thursday

"Salam kak Intan, ada kat rumah tak? Ada orang kirim barang. Sorry dia dah bagi Monday, kte asyik lupa nak bawak."

"What a coincidence." A normal reaction.

Tapi bila tengok dengan mata hati.

Rasa macam nak nangis bila fikir betapa sweet nya percaturan Dia.

And what did I do to deserve this?

As simple as a mini muffin, I just felt this is a total blessing.
Double triple love.

From a dear friend and You. 

Sherina take care in Letterkenny. I miss you too.

Cant wait for you to settle down back in Galway 🌹

Love has eyes and is not blind.

intan nur hadilah


A song that initially meant to be a Youtube Ad,
Before we all go ' Skip Ad' after 5 seconds.
But this one, somehow made me stuck till the end.

" I never been with anyone, In the way I've been with you."

a drama queen

thanks intan for tagging me in your last post. ok. not. but who cares, i'll assume you "tagged" me. haha

20 things about sarah hani.

1. a PTS student. so I dont know what tahun 4 feels like
- my circle of friends are mostly a year older than me, duh?
- will always remember how I prepared for my exam/ when I was told I passed my PTS/ my first day in tahun 5
- due to PTS, i have minimal close primary school friends.

2. growing up, I have more guy friends rather than girl friends.

3. I play sports. hyperactive. give me a ball, i can kick/throw/dodge. give me a shuttlecock, i can hit. i swim. i run (not marathon material).
- few sports i dont play well = hockey and tennis

4. plans ahead, try my very best to stick with it and gets moody when things dont go to plan. am starting to accept random plans

5. i am so traditional when it comes to my meal choices. not that i cant survive in "hipster" cafes, but i rather have nasi goreng and tomyam campur and eat in the gerai under the zinc attap. I love the concept of tapau-ing nasi campur during lunch hour (so many lauk pauk to choose from!). dislike fine dining, the concept it too overrated.

6. a proud member of 3 stars. my siblings, we grow up supporting each other. my nuclear family my life.

7. travel to Penang almost every year

8.  i was prescribed a daily dose of intan nur hadilah when i was in high school. not complaining, it is a positive fact.

have you ever had someone so close to you that when you guys walk together, and something/someone passes by, and the other person taps your hand and both of you just started laughing at the same exact thing. no eye contact/verbal communication needed to describe what happened... yes, me and intan we had those moments in life. our mind were in the same wavelength, not a minute earlier or later from each other. 

9. LOVE prawns/anything that looks like it. seafood.

10. i enjoy travelling. and i try not to travel to the same place twice because there are so many other places to see in this world.

11. studies medicine in Australia. and rented a house with 7 other occupants for a year (4 bedrooms, 1 bathroom with separated toilet). I have been sleeping on a mattress (without a bed frame) for 3 years now.

12. i may love cats more than humans at times. or most of the time? tehee

13. baking is not my forte. dislike the cleaning up part. the batter of sugar+butter+flour is so oily,

14. suffers from contact dermatitis since a I was a kid. so, steroid and antihistamine are kinda my buddies.

15. tries my very best to be a reliable daughter to wonderful parents.

16. never bought myself makeup/things to decorate your eyes/cheeks/lips. minimally wore those stuffs on SPECIAL occasions and under huge pressure and influence. never randomly volunteered myself for makeup.

17. i dont drink fresh milk just like that, i dont eat ikan keli (or anything that looks like it), i dont eat cheese on its own, i dont eat butter on its own, i dont enjoy coffee.

18. my prominent taylor's memory? the first time I talked to a guy through his car's window, when picking up intan. I acted so chilled. then the random, unexpected birthday wish from an unknown mobile number.

19. details. i see what other people think is not really important. the sewing style of buttons on a shirt/the material used to make the strap of a bag etc

20. a drama queen.



to intan nur hadilah,
your no 20 fact would be: kau tak suka makan kuih sagu. kuih biji2, warna merah (or sekarang kau dah start makan?) lol

#20factsaboutme

Honestly no one tagged me in Instagram to do this.
Syukur Alhamdulillah. Even though dalam hati macam sedikit terkilan.HAHA.
But since I just feel like writing a new blog post, and yeah why not kan?
Its a blog anywayyy.


1. My full name is Intan Nur Hadilah binti Purdiono. I secretly have a crush for my own name. Untill I come to Ireland, and the locals cant really pronouce my name. " In-ten" it is.

2. Tak makan kacang. Semua jenis kacang in cakes, ice cream or chocolate, except pecan in maple syrup or kacang tanah. And people WILL ALWAYS think because of the pimples, which is NOT. I simply cant eat it.

3. Talking bout pimples, hurmm. benciiiiiiii. Selalu 'merungut' pasal benda tu. Been having the same problems since I can't remember when. Orang cakap bila dah kahwin, hormone dah stabil. better. HOPEFULLY. and jangan tanya bila nak kahwin.

4. Initially I wanted badly to become a pharmacist because I was madly into Chemistry in high school. But as much I still wonder why I'm a medical student, I know deep inside, Allah has planned the best for me. Insha Allah.

5. When I go out to eat with family or friends, I tend not to 'allow' people to order the same menu on the same table. Pantang sikit, sorry :p

6. Masih mencari identiti warna kegemaran. Anything that look good in any colour in my eyes are acceptable.

7. Senang di-influence oleh orang lain. To some degree.

8. I consider myself as a 'deep' person. And somehow, I get annoyed when people sama kan 'deep' with 'emo'. Its totally two different things (for me.)

9. Mini cooper is my ultimate dream car. Future Husband, take note please.

10. Lost my dear father a day before my 21st birthday. Papa I miss you, always. ♥

11. I always wonder what it feels like to sit on clouds.

12. When I was in INTEC, I totally shut my social life down with the people surrounds me. Ignorance gila. Balik every weekend. But Alhamdulillah, I get over it and my phase of life in IMU can be considered one of my best. Rindu sangat semua orang.

13. I can tolerate heat better than cold. Which is why Winter is surely not my favourite season. No snow in Galway  so takpayah nak " Do you want to build a snow man?" sangat please. HAHA.

14. Sticking to a life principle, " Forgiving do wonders to people. Biar orang buat kita jangan kita buat orang." through my life experience. To forgive and ask for forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. Let yourself know that. Insha Allah kini, dan selama nya.

15. Bila aku gelak, masuk dalam kategori 'gelak asthma.' K fine.

16. I cant swim. Takut air. And I'm pretty sure that I will not be able to for the rest of my life.

17. Bila 'marah' dengan someone, I automatically can't look that person in the eyes even though we are still talking. But sekejap je lah.

18. Not a Facebook person.

19. Still striving to be a better person for myself, my family and everyone. And of course, as a 'khalifah Allah' di muka bumi.

20.


Purposely make the last number empty.
For you to fill it with your own fact about me.


:)

Today is Holi-Day.

intan nur hadilah

I cant really recall what date is today.

Wait, I even barely remember what day is today. Just because everyday is apparently Holi-day to me.

Oh well, I love this phase of life.

I wish days pass sloooowwlyyyyy.

Especially when you're back home.

Yes, Malaysia :D

There are so much I can think of doing, but maybe half of it will end up still stuck on the to-do list. Sobs.

And so much to write here as well,

BUT sadly Im not bound to wifi at home.

Surviving on Digi data plan.

Nak on 3G pun kadang-kadang sayang okay. 

Btw, I finally claimed my long-time promise to Sarah Hani. 

Went to Australia and spend a whole week with her :D 

(which I'm pretty sure she was getting nearly bored with me at the end of those week especially bila aku paksa kau tngkap gmbr kan? K. HAHA)

Wanted to write a post about it, maybe soon. Whenever Im connected to any super speed FREE net/wifi. 

And yeahh, Salam Ramadhan to you :)

Rindu my ramadhan vibes with the girls back in IMU.