Wednesday, 3 May 2017

You did not break me, Im still finding for peace

To the 25 years old me,

Today you were so broken inside
You were hurt
That unbearable pain walking away from a relationship that you wished could be your forever.
I know you never felt this broken before
You cried like you never before for all,
Those insignificant heartache, those restless night, those crazy anxiety, those over thinking and insecurity
You let yourself be faint and weak when you was meant to be strong and bright
And you lost it all when people dearest to you are settling down, married with the love of their life.
And there were you sadly thinking why in the world am I still have to deal with all these sh*t

Perhaps you thought you've met the one
You thought you have given your best,
Or perhaps you were just too scared to be...alone.

No, im not here to tell you "I told you so."
Im here to tell you that its okay darling, what you're feeling now is real
Cry your heart out, dont hold back those tears. Yet do know, you'll be better
Maybe not tomorrow neither the day after
But one thing fr sure, I'll promise you, you will surely be.
Know that nothing last forever, no even your laughter and so does this pain.

Because one day, you'll wake up with an open heart believing,

You are beautiful just the way you are
You know you deserve better
His validation doesnt define your precious self-worth. And most importantly,
You woke up blessed knowing that this is a wake-up call.
That Allah is saving you from things you had closed one eye to, those red flags you were too denial to admit it
And you could have never be more content that you walked away from it.

To NA,
You were once the risk i chose to take
My person, my saviour
My heart and soul,
My perfect stranger.

I gave you more that i had ever given another human being
I trusted you with all of me, something that never happened before
Thank you fr letting me know how it felt to be loved the way I never did before
Thank you for being the exact person you were once said you never would wanna  be.
And thank you, for made me realised all the right reason not to fall in love with wrong person (again).

Dear the 25 years old me,

You grow out of this stronger,
You are wise enough to embrace the beauty of all the pain that you went through.
Because the only way to escape when you reached rock-bottom is to go up.

Nothing happens without a purpose, nothing.
Not even heart broken, not even pain

Dear Intan Nur Hadilah,

You're caught in between strong mind and fragile heart,
There is only one place where you can lau your dependencies.
There is only one relationship that should define your self-worth and only once source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment and security
That place is God.

Know your priority, this life is temporary
Never lose hope, have faith
Indeed Allah is with the patient
And you'll do great, in sha Allah

p.s: i love you dearly, and so does the wonderful souls that surrounds you. Please never forget that.

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