Friday, 18 November 2016

Adel Mardhiyah

Dear Adel Mardhiyah,

Yes, dont be suprise when you found this post link one day upon Google-ing your name. Maybe in 2030, when you're 17.
Or maybe much earlier since you might know how to use the Safari next year.

You're the first bundle of joy in our nuclear family. The first grandchildren, the  first niece, the first who get to call me Mak Ngah. How lucky is that? ;p

Im sorry you hasnt get the chance to meet and know your grandfather, but I want you to know he would be the happiest Atuk when you came to the world. 

Dear Adel Mardhiyah,

Whatever happens in the future, please do know that I love you dearly wholeheartedly. I grew up not knowing what it feels like to have cool, awesome Aunties. But please know you have not only one, but two that you can count on anytime, anywhere. Stay adorable, and be good to your parent. 

With lots of love ❤️
Mak Ngah

The 3 years old you and 25 years old me. 

Saturday, 22 October 2016

Ignorance is (-nt always ) a bliss

intan nur hadilah


I used to live on 'Ignorance is bliss". 
Unfriend, hide, block.
When you don't know, you dont get hurt.
No anger, no heartache.

Because Im fragile like that.

But this time it was different.
I realised that at one point, 

You need to know the truth.
Escapism isnt always the best way out
Need to see it with your own eyes
Need to face it, by hook or by crook

No matter how much you know its going to hurt or destroy you.
Because at the end of the day,
"Truth hurt but it sets you free."


And you know one thing for sure--
You'll get better in time
Better and stronger. 
With or without a healed scar.



ps: Was browsing through my phone and found there were few random notes I wrote from time to time. And I think its better off fr it to posted here :)






Wednesday, 21 September 2016

Good-for-nothing?

Changes are inevitable
The only things that are constant in life are changes.

But, do you remember?
You were once 

Someone who told me to have some decent boundaries among the guy friends
Wants me to read and understand the Quran
Asked me almost every day if I've read it, even though my replies were rebellious
"Tak payah lah tanya, kau ni sibuk je lah"
Someone who hates to delay the daily prayers and drawn me to do the same too
Wrote me a short dua to read it daily just because it's a scary world out there
Taught me what to do when I'm terrified of the heavy rain thunders


Do you remember?
You were once a wise person with strong principle.

Years might pass
But those version of you will forever be remembered
Always am --and will always do.

Thank you.


Friday, 16 September 2016

6 bulan kemudian...

I miss writing, I truly am.
Somehow I think Im a better person when Im into writing. Better in what way, Im not sure. But I just knew I do.

Maybe because I love to read my old blog post and reminiscing on memories and phases of life.
So when I dont write, I tend to forget.
Always had those overwhelming spirit on writing bout major things that happened in my life but end up (most of the time) never did. So sad.

So to start simple, since my last post was in March. Hello thats like 6 bulan lepas. Half a year.

I officially graduated as a Doctor!!
Yeayyy alhamdulillah :)
Can you believe it? Macam tak percaya 
Ke denial sebab jadi student actually phase paling best dalam hidup haha

BUT, its a long waiting period to actually working as one. So Im having a LONG BREAK in life. And to be honest, reading all those FB status bout how stressful working life is, made me appreciate this long break more than ever.
So worry not, IM NOT GOING TO COMPLAIN BOUT HOW LONG IT GOING TO BE. 


Im still trying to figure out what to do with my life now. As much as I enjoy those spare times, I felt so guilty that those time wasnt spent wisely. Trying to find a part time job. This time I know myself Im being picky bout it. Im really not into retails job atm, simply because I still want my weekend to be off.

Wanted to have a job that means something to the society. Nak jadi cikgu tapi tiba tiba rasa macam susah gila lepas tutor Eisya siang tadi. Padahal baru darjah satu. Haha. 

Well, we'll see how it goes.
Till then,

- Your jobless doctor. 

Thursday, 10 March 2016

#49daystoFinalExam

10th March 2016


Kau claim dengan Tuhan,

Tapi aku dah selalu je study,
Tapi aku jarang gila ponteng tutorial,
Tapi aku rajin je study group,
Tapi aku dah buat banyak benda,
Tapi kenapa aku?

Kenapa aku?

Kenapa tak orang lain.
Kenapa tak orang lain yang study pun entah bila.
Kenapa tak orang lain yang tak kisah pun pasal exam.
Kenapa tak orang yang selalu ponteng kelas.

Kenapa eh? Kenapa?


Kau claim kenapa dalam banyak banyak orang Dia pilih kau.

Tapi kau lupa,
Pernah tak sekali dalam hidup kau pertikaikan nikmat yang kau dapat?
Makan minum tak pernah kurang.
Sempurna anggota badan,
Mak, ayah, rumah, duit.

Pernah ke kau claim kenapa dalam banyak banyak manusia Tuhan nak bagi kau.
Layak ke nak claim segala "effort" yang kau bagi dengan nikmat yang seribu lagi banyak Tuhan dah beri.

Malu nya.
Ya Rabb, maafkan diri yang hina, terlalu sombong dan selalu alpa
Lupa akan realiti nya rezeki Allah bukan lah pada "effort" fizikal semata-mata. 
Mungkin terlalu lama hilang pergantungan pada Nya
Sebab tu Allah rindu.


Wahai diri
Pujuk lah hati.
Its okay. Its alright.
Allah tahu.


Intan Nur Hadilah, hang in there.
Allah tahu struggles kau.
Dia kan tengok usaha?

:)

Thursday, 12 November 2015

SOCRATES

intan nur hadilah

" So, from a scale of 1-10, from 1 being okay to 10 being really bad, how would you rate your pain?"

A question that (most of) medical students would ask their patients in history taking.
But personally it's not one of my favourite question to ask.
Most of the time, when I find it less relevant I'll just skip it.

Pain is subjective.
Everyone has a different pain threshold.
Some might tolerate pain better than other people.
Be it physical or emotional.

Emotional pain.

People might say heart broken is the worst heartache in the world.
Well as for me, there will always be a worse scale of emotional pain than being heart broken.
The pain of losing your family members.
The kind of pain that time doesn't heals.
Time made you stronger talking about it.
But deep inside..............




Only He knows how it felt :)

This remind me of a friend who just lost his father two years.
I was there for the tahlil. She came to me and said,

" Kita tak tahu lah macam mana. Every time teringat mesti nangis. Intan, will the pain ever stop?"
I can still remember her sad looking eyes. Full of hopes. Waiting for me to answer "Yes, soon."
But I cant answer that. Because its one ugly truth that only those who went through it will understand. Can I just hug you instead?


So if I have to answer a pain scale question, from 1-10. My answer would be,

Infinity.


Bukan mengadu domba,
Cuma berkongsi rasa.








Friday, 2 October 2015

From You through her.

intan nur hadilah


It's the thought that counts.


I have always love mini muffin from Aldi.
But I wont buy it because I had this strict principle on 'junk' food. If you dont buy it, you wont eat it. Exception on the time of the month, if you get what I meant.

So yesterday, I had this sudden craving.
It crossed my mind, " Okay kalau pergi Aldi nak beli lah muffin tu."

Today is Thursday
"Salam kak Intan, ada kat rumah tak? Ada orang kirim barang. Sorry dia dah bagi Monday, kte asyik lupa nak bawak."


"What a coincidence." A normal reaction.
Tapi bila tengok dengan mata hati.
Rasa macam nak nangis bila fikir betapa sweet nya percaturan Dia.

And what did I do to deserve this?

As simple as a mini muffin, I just felt this is a total blessing.
Double triple love.
From a dear friend and You. 


Sherina take care in Letterkenny. I miss you too.
Cant wait for you to settle down back in Galway 🌹

Related Posts with Thumbnails